I love .....

Most people who write to me and ask about Jasmin will spell her name wrong, so an explanation is in order. Jasmin is named after the flower Jasmine. In Portuguese the name Jasmine is pronounced JAZ-MIN-I. Both Andre and I did not want her to be called JAZ-MIN-I so we have purposely taken off the E from Jasmine. Now her name sounds the same in both Portuguese and English.

Jasmin is growing so fast, at her 3 month check up she weighed 6.1 kilos and was 62 cm. Jasmin has taken after my side of the family with her looks, she is a mini Steven. However I can see little bits of personality now and then and she is so much like Andre and his sister Jerusa. I am still only breast feeding Jasmin, a great perk about breast feeding full time is you don't get a period apart from the one after birth. That was a long one, 5 weeks. 5 weeks of wearing pads, I had the worst chafe of my life. I love you Hipoglos cream.

Jasmin has discovered she has hands and is getting very good at her hand to mouth co-ordination, everything see touches goes in her mouth. Jasmin loves to be held and cuddled and my arm's are always sore because she is getting so heavy. Watching her make new discoveries every day is a joy and babies learn fast. She loves to sit even though she is unable to by herself yet. Mum told me I was walking at nine months, I reckon Jasmin will be the same.

I love the smell of Jasmin's breath, it smells like sweet milk.

I love her fine fluffy hair.

I love her grey eyes and long eye lashes.

I love her gummy smile.

I love when she pouts her bottom lip.

I love when she pokes her tongue out at me.

I love how she likes to chew everything she touches.

I love her chunky cheeks.

I love her button nose.

I love her double chin.

I love when she gurgles at me.

I love when she screams and scares herself.

I love when she sneezes and farts at the same time.

I love to hear her try to talk to me.

I love when she talks to her owl mobile above her cot.

I love when she talks to her Winnie the Pooh blanket.

I still love to watch her sleep.

I love the faces she pulls when she is sleeping and dreaming.

I love her cute little belly button.

I love her chubby arms and legs, they have so many creases in them.

I love the dimples on her knuckles because her hands are so chubby.

I love when she tries to do sit ups.

I love her dimpled bottom.

I love her loud, smelly farts.

I love when she’s hungry, it’s life or death if she doesn’t get a boob straight away.

I love watching Jasmin feed from my breast.

I love it when Jasmin is drunk from my milk.

I love how every morning when she wakes up and sees me she smiles.

I love when she gets angry, her eye brows go red and she looks so cute.

I love watching her shower with Andre.

I love to watch her play with her baby gym.

I love watching Andre play with Jasmin.

I love every thing about her and then I love her some more.

Having Jasmin in my life has opened my eyes so much and made me a more patient person, Babies are so forgiving, makes me wish grown ups were as forgiving. Jasmin has taught me not to be so serious and have fun, pull faces, dance and sing, I do all sorts of silly things to entertain her and it doesn’t matter where I am. It's very hard work being a mother but I'm loving it. Andre will be celebrating his first Daddy Day tomorrow and I know he is so proud of our little princess just as I am.

World cup fever

World cup fever had swept across Brazil, their crazy for football (can’t call it soccer here, they look at you strange). I cannot believe work, schools, shops, everything closes to a stand still when Brazil played. When ever Brazil scored a goal the sky erupts with noisy fire works that scared the hell out of me, I especially didn’t like it when it was an early game 10:30 am. Very rude awakening. I think the whole country is watching the game, I’m not a big fan of watching sport on television (much rather play) but tried to watch a few games here and there. In the beginning I told everyone Australia will win the world cup, they just laughs at me. I don’t know what’s so funny about that! How cool was Octopus Paul!

The weather here in Rondonopolis is a predictable sunny 33 degrees every day. It’s the dry season and I have not seen rain for 3 months. Although we had a couple of weeks where it felt like a Melbourne winter. I was not prepared for the cold and only have one pair of tracky pants and one jumper. You can imagine how I smelt after a whole week of wearing the same clothes. I have been spoilt by this heat and I will be a big wimp when I return to a wintery Melbourne. In the dry season the nights are a cooler but the day is still to unbelievably hot to do anything outside. I don’t know how anyone works in this heat, so glad my job is looking after Jasmin.

I have been in Brazil for 9 months and got no where with the Portuguese language. Everyone in the family talk way to fast for me to try and understand and Andre’s step sister Luciene felt sorry for me not being able to communicate. She is a teacher for little 4 to 5 year olds and is teaching me Portuguese after hours and in return I am teaching her English. I have completed my alphabetization and slowly getting in to phrases. I enjoy my time with Luciene, it gets me out of the house and she is has such a big heart. Luciene is not a blood sister, she was adopted by Andre’s parents when she was fifteen.

Brazilians are very religious, 70% are catholics and every year in June and July they celebrate all the saints. They do this by throwing big country parties with traditional food, clothing and dancing. I went to a couple and the were very colorful events, loads of fire works and flags. The girls would wear short little dresses similar to Jasmin’s in all different colors and the men would dress up like farmers with patches on their shirts and pants. The food is fabulous as always and my favorite drink had to be the hot spiced wine, nothing quite like hot wine to warm you up on a cool night. Brazilians sure know how to party.

MOSQUITOES. No matter were you are in the world there is nothing more annoying then mosquitoes, here in Rondonopolis they come in the millions. I must admit I am grateful that it is the dry season, dengue mosquitoes are not out in high numbers as they are in the wet season. One thing that really annoys me about the mosquitoes here is they are silent unlike the ones I have encountered in Australia. The Australian mossies give you a warning that they are coming so you can prepare for battle. The Brazilian mossies are silent and sometimes deadly, you don’t even know you have been bitten until it’s to late.

I am the mossie assassin, I cannot sleep until every mossy in my room is dead. Andre thinks I look like a crazy person when I am hunting for mossies. I pull my bandana tight around my head like Rambo does, I arm myself with a pillow/towel what ever is near by (I stopped slapping walls with my hands a while back because I kept hurting myself) and I start running, chasing the mossies. Sometimes I get lucky and sneak up on them and POW, one deadly swipe with a pillow and his a gonner. I always try to use Andre’s pillows because I hate getting blood all over my pillows. I have lost count of the number of kills, maybe around 1,000 by now. If I were a Buddhist, I would be in for so much bad Karma.

2 month in and loving it

Having a baby has turned my life upside down but I cannot imagine my life without Jasmin. So many changes to the way I look at life, my relationship with my husband and my body. All for the better of course. Jasmin is completely dependent on Andre and I (more so me as all she eats is my milk) and this is a big responsibility. We need to make sure she is clean, warm, dry, fed and comfort her when she has colic/gas.

Jasmin never took to bathing and when we tried it was a nightmare, she would cry so much that she stopped breathing and turned purple. There was a stage after she was born where she did not wash her for 3 weeks (don’t worry we used wet wipes to clean her during this time). I suggested to Andre we try wash her in the shower and she loved it. The running warm water relaxes her so much that she ends up falling asleep before Andre finish washing her.

Keeping Jasmin warm and dry is easy just check her nappy from time to time. When Jasmin does a big bara boom, an explosion erupts in her nappy and gets very hot. As soon as we hear this explosion we have to rush her to her change mat, Andre and I have many times been victims of the aftermath. This is no fun for those of you who have not had children yet, baby poo is the most smelliest, stickiest, yellowy mustard in color poo I have ever encountered. If you get this poo anywhere it is so hard to wash off. I am very lucky that Andre loves to change her nappy so this is his job in the evenings after he finishes work and on the weekends.

Breast feeding in the beginning was very difficult and painful but now that I have got use to it, it’s such a special time for me. Jasmin is close to my body and I love to watch her drink and get so drunk on my milk. Jasmin knows what’s good for her and will not drink anything else but my milk. We have tried to give her bottles of formula and camomile tea and she just spits it out. We tried to give her a dummy and she’s to smart for that, she works out that there is no milk in them and spits it out after 10 seconds. One thing I don’t enjoy is the vomit, baby vomit smells like off cheese. All my clothes smell like off cheese all the time.

There is nothing more heart wrenching than listening to Jasmin crying because of colic/gas and not be able to do anything except comfort her. I have had countless sleepless nights comforting Jasmin, time and the days become a blur and you have no idea where your at. If the crying goes on for to long I end up joining Jasmin and cry with her. I am so grateful that this is becoming less of a problem as she grows bigger.

Before I had Jasmin Andre and I were so laid back and relaxed about everything now we find ourselves so protective over Jasmin. If someone else is holding her or if we go out we can’t help but watch her like a hawk. What are we going to do once she starts to walk? Jasmin will drive us crazy.

My relationship with my husband has deepened to another level, we are more in love with each other than ever. We spend more time together helping each other looking after Jasmin, sleeping and talking to each other. Like Jasmin, I cannot imagine my life without my husband, I love him with all my heart, body and soul. As for sex, what sex? Either I’m to tired or Andre is to tired or we’re just both to tired. Jasmin’s starting to get into a routine so maybe we might get lucky like the old days.

The most obvious changes in my body are my boobs and my belly. Three days after giving birth my boobs grew 4 times bigger, I looked like I had silicon implants. They get in the way when I try to sleep, they bounce all over the place and they are always leaking milk. Before Jasmin came along I could never imagine getting my boobs out in public but when a woman decides to breast feed her boobs become public property. When the baby is screaming you don’t care where you are, you just get them out and feed your baby. Two months after giving birth and my belly is still flabby, god help me does this ever disappear?

On friday last week Jasmin had a check up at the doctors and Dr. Cadu is so impressed with her development. He says she looks and her motor movements are that of a 3 month old and she is not even 2 months old yet. Jasmin is 5 kilos and putting on 41 grams a day, the average baby puts on 30 grams a day. Jasmin is 58 cm and is growing 1 cm a week and the average baby grows 2-3 cm a month.

Being a mother is the hardest job I have ever had to do. Unlike a 9 to 5 job where you can go home and relax being a mother never stops. Jasmin is smiling when she see Andre and I and this alone is so rewarding, it wipes the slate clean from all the crying, sleepless nights, vomit and shitty nappy’s. Jasmin is becoming quite the talker like her father, although I don’t understand a word she says. She has such a beautiful voice and I melt every time she talks to me.

Jasmin’s eye brows and eyelashes have grown, we are not sure what color eyes she will have. She still has a gray mirrored film over her eyes, I am sure I see hints of green some times. Andre and I decided to get Jasmin’s ears pierced she was brave, she only cried a little. Jasmin copes with her vaccinations better than I do, she cry’s while the needle is in her and as soon it is removed she stops. Where as I sweat and get all nervous watching her get her vaccinations. Jasmin is fat, chubby and has rolls like the michelan man but to me she is the cutest baby in the world.

Jasmin’s arrival

I am now the proud mother of Jasmin Sofia Dinardi Peixoto, she is so beautiful that I cannot stop watching her. She really is mine and Andre’s, our masterpiece. What an amazing feeling it is to be a mum, there are no words to describe how much I could burst with joy right now. I have never been so happy in my life, sorry baba our wedding day was fantastic but the joy of being a mum is something different.

Jasmin was not due until the 14th of April but I had a feeling she would come early, 4 days early to be exact. On friday the 9th of April, I was cleaning franticly. I cleaned our bedroom inside out, I did my yoga, I had a craving for good foods so ate well. When I was cleaning the mirror in the bathroom I stopped and looked at my belly and thought how big it was and that I should take a photo of it as it may be the last chance I get. I did not take that photo and as it turned our it was the last chance I had.

I went to bed as usual, but I had an overwhelming urge to go to the toilet all night long. I went many times and in the early hours of the morning 5 am my back was hurting a little. I had wind the previous night with the same pain so thought nothing more of it and went back to sleep. I woke up again at 5:30 am with a little bit more pain but this time the pain was creeping around to my pelvis as well, but would go away. I contemplated for 30 minutes as to whether I was feeling contractions.

At 6 am I woke up Andre complaining of pain and that I may have contractions, he did not believe me so for another 30 minutes we waited and the pain increased and blood started to appear when I went to the toilet. I ordered Andre to call Doctor Holland, so he did. Doctor Holland instructed us to go to the hospital for a quick check up, Andre wasted no time and rushed me to the hospital. I had to ask him to take it easy on the speed humps, so annoying they are everywhere in Rondonopolis.

On our arrival Doctor Holland did an internal examination and told us I was 7 cms dilated. Andre was surprised and my contractions were strengthening, it took another half hour to completely dilate. Andre and I were preped for labor, with a couple more contractions before the big one hit me. Like a tsunami wave ripping through me and I had to push. The urge would not go away so I pushed and pushed and pushed. Jasmin’s head was a little to big so Doctor Holland had to make a cut for extra room and with the last couple of pushes I felt my baby come out. I was completely and utterly exhausted.

Jasmin was born 7:50 am on Saturday 10th of April 2010. She weighed 3.27 kilos and was 49 cm long. After I was stitched up and taken to my room, the rest of the day was a bit of a blur, almost felt like a dream to me. The family came to visit and wanted to spend time with our new princess, it was pass the parcel with Jasmin. Essio and Andre's god father, Matias also came to visit, this made Andre very happy. I felt uncomfortable in the hospital as was Andre and Jasmin, I could not wait to get of there. Sunday morning I was released from hospital and finally got to go home.

I spent some quality time with my little girl and a bond was formed so intense that by the end of the day I cried tears of joy. It had all finally sunk in that this was my little girl. Andre has been so amazing the last couple of days, I could not have picked a better husband. His willingness to help and assist me is greatly appreciated as I recover and to see the same love and joy in his eyes for our little girls just makes me love him even more. Andre and I are tired from feeding, burping, changing nappy’s every 3 or so hours but we could not be happier.

Jasmin has not only brought joy to Andre and I but to the whole family. I have never seen Iracema so happy and excited with the arrival of her first grandchild and she is not afraid to share that excitement with everyone she knows. Messias does not say much but the love in his eyes when he spends time with her is beautiful, he is so proud. Graziela and Jerusa are the happiest aunties I have ever seen, they love to take Jasmin off my hands to give me time to shower, relax even squeeze in a sleep. Even uncle Diego is happy with Jasmin’s arrival, he watched futeball with her yesterday but I don’t think Jasmin was all that interested in watching, she slept the whole time.

Jasmin has so much more joy and love to spread to all her family and friends back in Australia.

One week to go before I become a mother

I have come a long way since I first found out that I was pregnant, the all day sickness. The mood swings, the sleepless nights, the acid burning my throat and more recently the sharp pains of sciatic nerve in my hip and the constant dull pain in my left hip. Sometimes pregnancy gets to much for me and I break down, but Andre brings me back down to earth and reminds me it is not easy making another human. It has not been all bad, when I think of my baby, the joy and the unconditional love I feel in my heart has been worth any pain I have been through. Lets see if I still agree with this after I have been through labor.

My belly is huge and very tight, the baby is filling out with fat nicely. Due to the limited space in my belly the baby movements are less, I kind of miss the mischief my baby use to get up to. The baby's hiccups have become so strong, they annoy the baby. But hiccups are good, they prepare the baby for breathing out of the womb. I can't help but giggle each time the baby get the hiccups, and I'm sure the baby does the same when I get the hiccups myself.

The baby wakes up every 3 to 4 hours for a stretch in my belly and I have read that this will be the sleeping patterns once the baby is born. I worry how and when I will sleep myself, I'm not very good with broken sleep but I guess I will have to get use to it. I will not get to sleep in now for at least the next 18 years. I am surprised how responsive my baby is with me and not just when I talk to it but a simple thought that the baby has not moved for a while, are you ok baby. Seconds after I have the thought the baby moves and puts my mind at ease. I wonder if the baby will be just as responsive to me out of the womb.

A couple other down falls with pregnancy is the constant peeing, I will be busting with pain to go to the toilet and when I get there and pee almost nothing comes out. My poor hemorrhoid has taking a beating with the added pressure of the baby's weight and pushing. My belly gets in the way and I keep bumping it everywhere, doors, benches and tables. Sometimes I really enjoy my big belly, I love to rub it and Andre asked why I rub my belly so much. I think it's because I won't always have this big belly so I'm making the most of it. It's a way of giving my baby some love to, I cannot hug it or kiss my baby yet, so rubbing some love into my belly is a way to show I care.

As each day passes I grow more curious about what sex my baby, but I have come this far without knowing so what is a few extra days. Benjamin or Jasmin? Andre and I have a middle name worked out for Benjamin, Luke. But finding a middle name for Jasmin has been a bit more difficult. We cannot agree on many names, we agree on Leah but I also love Pearl. I came across a German name "Wolfgang" for a boy which I adore as it so different and unique. I wish I came across this name earlier, I think I would have a hard time trying to convince everyone to change from Benjamin now, but I do love "Wolfgang".

My baby must be about 50 cms by now and I cannot understand how it fits inside me, pregnancy is so amazing when you think about it. Creating another life, Andre and I will be responsible for this life, it's a little bit scary. I guess anything new or different is a little scary and the best way to deal with this new life is to take it day by day.

My 31st Birthday

I am a big fan of spoiling other people for their birthday and don't usually like a fuss for mine but I must admit I enjoyed being spoilt yesterday. I have come a long way since my last birthday, married, pregnant, moved to Brazil and now about to become a mother for the first time. I have everything I could have ever wished for and more.

My special day started out with birthday wishes after midnight from Andre. I got up at 8:30 for my usual corn flakes and 2 milks (soy and sabor doce de leite). Messias greeted me and wished me a happy birthday. I have been reading New Moon and spent half an hour reading after breakfast and then had to get dressed for my professional photo shoot. Andre needed a hair cut prior to the photo shoot so we stopped by the hair dresses then over to the studio in central.

Iracema was already there getting the final touches of her hair and make up as she was getting photos taken to. I was next in the make up chair. I was surprised to see a man doing the hair and makeup and he is very good, the best I have come across so far. He curled my hair first then worked on my makeup, it felt so good to be pampered, like a princess. The photographer was good, he took some amazing shots. I cannot wait to see them all. It was a little weird getting my gear off and and flashing my boobies in front of other men but Andre assured me both photographer and make artist are gay.

After the shoot it was straight home for lunch and a nap. In the evening Andre and I went out for dinner at Rondon Plaza. I finally ate salmon after 4 months of not having any. It was amazing and I never wanted the eating to end. However I cannot eat as much as I use to with the baby taking up all my insides. I felt bad that I could not eat it all. I could have gone to sleep after eating, my belly was full and I was completely satisfied. We went to Americanas to cool down, their air conditioning is fantastic. I got to pick any chocolate from "Cocoa Show" for my present, I found a 70% dark chocolate egg mmmmmmm.

I had a funny suspicion that a party was being organized back at the house as Andre received many phone calls asking when we would be home. At home I walked in the house and the kitchen light was off so I knew they were all there waiting for me. I walked in and the singing started, bubbles filled the kitchen and there was a huge ice cream cake with many candles lit. I took my place next to the cake and once the singing came to a halt I blew out my candles. Jerusa's Diego was there with his brother and friend and a couple of Iracema's friends from work all wished me a happy birthday and the family gave me presents.

From Lou I received a summer PJ set, Graziela, Diego and Jerusa got me a baby album. Messias brought me Boticário Mamma Bella oil and relaxing jell, perfect timing as I was about to run out. And if Iracema had not already given me more than enough with an amazing photo shoot, she also brought me dressy flip flops. I had to laugh when I opened the box because I had seen these very shoes in the shop window and thought how hideous they were and questioned Andre who would actually buy then. Here they were in front of me, but I know you never judge a book by its cover so I slipped then on and it was like walking on clouds. They were very comfortable and I fell in love with them.

The ice cream cake was very delicious, Andre had two servings. I felt tired after such a big day and thanked everyone and had to make my way up to get ready for bed at 10 pm. Just before I went to bed Daniel came on-line and I had a little chat to him then lights out for me. It was an amazing birthday and I will never forget it. I am 31 years old now, I have to get use to saying that.

What's in a name?

Over the years I have come to love certain names like Lulu, and would love to use it as a middle name. Now that I live in Brazil I am told that I cannot name my child Lulu because it is a prostitute/dogs name. Who makes these rules up for giving baby names? Being the mother of my soon to arrive child I thought I had rights to name my baby as I see fit. It seems as though everyone wants a say in my baby's name. I could never tell another person what to name there child, quite frankly it's not my child and not my business. If I did name my child Lulu, would everybody love her any less? What a nightmare, I hope I am having a boy at least everyone agrees on Benjamin.

I had my week 34 check up with Doctor Holland and the baby is 2.030 kilos and 47 cm tall. My sister in law Graziela drove me to my appointment and Andre met up a little later at the clinic. Graziela got to see baby on the ultra sound for the first time and I think she was pretty impressed. Andre could not make the start of the check up so Doctor Holland really made an effort and tried to talk english with me. I was impressed, he knows more that what I expected. I am going to be having more frequent appointments (weekly) leading up to the due date.

I have put on 1.5 kilos despite being sick all week. I have not had the flu in over 2 years and this I believe has been due to the healthy way of life that I lead. Good food and plenty of exercise but at my last check up I was told to eat more meat, so I did. I ate meat for lunch and dinner and by the end of the week I was experiencing abdominal pain and surprise, surprise I got sick. I am not made to eat so much meat and I am paying for it now.

The baby is very active and I can feel it moving higher in my belly. It is growing fast as is my belly. I am beginning to feel pain in my lower back from the weight of my belly and I am becoming less mobile. I don't even want to leave the house anymore because I get so tired and uncomfortable being out and about. I have become so boring. I cannot believe I have less than 6 weeks left, 42 days before I hold my bundle of joy in my arms. I cannot fit into my normal clothes any more and I have given up trying, time to make use of the maternity clothes I have.

One thing that I am ever so grateful for is how amazing my husband has been through my pregnancy. He gives me so much love and makes me feel good, despite feeling fat and ugly. He is so attentive to my cravings and gets me anything I want. For example if I am craving açaí and I don't get it, he is worried the baby may end up looking like an açaí. I love my husband more and more everyday and so glad he is in my life. I can see his excitement growing as the due date is approaching and I know he will make an amazing father.

It still has not set in that I will be a mother very soon, I know I have no idea what I have got myself into. I promised my baby to be he best mother I can be and lets see how things play out.