One week to go before I become a mother

I have come a long way since I first found out that I was pregnant, the all day sickness. The mood swings, the sleepless nights, the acid burning my throat and more recently the sharp pains of sciatic nerve in my hip and the constant dull pain in my left hip. Sometimes pregnancy gets to much for me and I break down, but Andre brings me back down to earth and reminds me it is not easy making another human. It has not been all bad, when I think of my baby, the joy and the unconditional love I feel in my heart has been worth any pain I have been through. Lets see if I still agree with this after I have been through labor.

My belly is huge and very tight, the baby is filling out with fat nicely. Due to the limited space in my belly the baby movements are less, I kind of miss the mischief my baby use to get up to. The baby's hiccups have become so strong, they annoy the baby. But hiccups are good, they prepare the baby for breathing out of the womb. I can't help but giggle each time the baby get the hiccups, and I'm sure the baby does the same when I get the hiccups myself.

The baby wakes up every 3 to 4 hours for a stretch in my belly and I have read that this will be the sleeping patterns once the baby is born. I worry how and when I will sleep myself, I'm not very good with broken sleep but I guess I will have to get use to it. I will not get to sleep in now for at least the next 18 years. I am surprised how responsive my baby is with me and not just when I talk to it but a simple thought that the baby has not moved for a while, are you ok baby. Seconds after I have the thought the baby moves and puts my mind at ease. I wonder if the baby will be just as responsive to me out of the womb.

A couple other down falls with pregnancy is the constant peeing, I will be busting with pain to go to the toilet and when I get there and pee almost nothing comes out. My poor hemorrhoid has taking a beating with the added pressure of the baby's weight and pushing. My belly gets in the way and I keep bumping it everywhere, doors, benches and tables. Sometimes I really enjoy my big belly, I love to rub it and Andre asked why I rub my belly so much. I think it's because I won't always have this big belly so I'm making the most of it. It's a way of giving my baby some love to, I cannot hug it or kiss my baby yet, so rubbing some love into my belly is a way to show I care.

As each day passes I grow more curious about what sex my baby, but I have come this far without knowing so what is a few extra days. Benjamin or Jasmin? Andre and I have a middle name worked out for Benjamin, Luke. But finding a middle name for Jasmin has been a bit more difficult. We cannot agree on many names, we agree on Leah but I also love Pearl. I came across a German name "Wolfgang" for a boy which I adore as it so different and unique. I wish I came across this name earlier, I think I would have a hard time trying to convince everyone to change from Benjamin now, but I do love "Wolfgang".

My baby must be about 50 cms by now and I cannot understand how it fits inside me, pregnancy is so amazing when you think about it. Creating another life, Andre and I will be responsible for this life, it's a little bit scary. I guess anything new or different is a little scary and the best way to deal with this new life is to take it day by day.

My 31st Birthday

I am a big fan of spoiling other people for their birthday and don't usually like a fuss for mine but I must admit I enjoyed being spoilt yesterday. I have come a long way since my last birthday, married, pregnant, moved to Brazil and now about to become a mother for the first time. I have everything I could have ever wished for and more.

My special day started out with birthday wishes after midnight from Andre. I got up at 8:30 for my usual corn flakes and 2 milks (soy and sabor doce de leite). Messias greeted me and wished me a happy birthday. I have been reading New Moon and spent half an hour reading after breakfast and then had to get dressed for my professional photo shoot. Andre needed a hair cut prior to the photo shoot so we stopped by the hair dresses then over to the studio in central.

Iracema was already there getting the final touches of her hair and make up as she was getting photos taken to. I was next in the make up chair. I was surprised to see a man doing the hair and makeup and he is very good, the best I have come across so far. He curled my hair first then worked on my makeup, it felt so good to be pampered, like a princess. The photographer was good, he took some amazing shots. I cannot wait to see them all. It was a little weird getting my gear off and and flashing my boobies in front of other men but Andre assured me both photographer and make artist are gay.

After the shoot it was straight home for lunch and a nap. In the evening Andre and I went out for dinner at Rondon Plaza. I finally ate salmon after 4 months of not having any. It was amazing and I never wanted the eating to end. However I cannot eat as much as I use to with the baby taking up all my insides. I felt bad that I could not eat it all. I could have gone to sleep after eating, my belly was full and I was completely satisfied. We went to Americanas to cool down, their air conditioning is fantastic. I got to pick any chocolate from "Cocoa Show" for my present, I found a 70% dark chocolate egg mmmmmmm.

I had a funny suspicion that a party was being organized back at the house as Andre received many phone calls asking when we would be home. At home I walked in the house and the kitchen light was off so I knew they were all there waiting for me. I walked in and the singing started, bubbles filled the kitchen and there was a huge ice cream cake with many candles lit. I took my place next to the cake and once the singing came to a halt I blew out my candles. Jerusa's Diego was there with his brother and friend and a couple of Iracema's friends from work all wished me a happy birthday and the family gave me presents.

From Lou I received a summer PJ set, Graziela, Diego and Jerusa got me a baby album. Messias brought me Boticário Mamma Bella oil and relaxing jell, perfect timing as I was about to run out. And if Iracema had not already given me more than enough with an amazing photo shoot, she also brought me dressy flip flops. I had to laugh when I opened the box because I had seen these very shoes in the shop window and thought how hideous they were and questioned Andre who would actually buy then. Here they were in front of me, but I know you never judge a book by its cover so I slipped then on and it was like walking on clouds. They were very comfortable and I fell in love with them.

The ice cream cake was very delicious, Andre had two servings. I felt tired after such a big day and thanked everyone and had to make my way up to get ready for bed at 10 pm. Just before I went to bed Daniel came on-line and I had a little chat to him then lights out for me. It was an amazing birthday and I will never forget it. I am 31 years old now, I have to get use to saying that.

What's in a name?

Over the years I have come to love certain names like Lulu, and would love to use it as a middle name. Now that I live in Brazil I am told that I cannot name my child Lulu because it is a prostitute/dogs name. Who makes these rules up for giving baby names? Being the mother of my soon to arrive child I thought I had rights to name my baby as I see fit. It seems as though everyone wants a say in my baby's name. I could never tell another person what to name there child, quite frankly it's not my child and not my business. If I did name my child Lulu, would everybody love her any less? What a nightmare, I hope I am having a boy at least everyone agrees on Benjamin.

I had my week 34 check up with Doctor Holland and the baby is 2.030 kilos and 47 cm tall. My sister in law Graziela drove me to my appointment and Andre met up a little later at the clinic. Graziela got to see baby on the ultra sound for the first time and I think she was pretty impressed. Andre could not make the start of the check up so Doctor Holland really made an effort and tried to talk english with me. I was impressed, he knows more that what I expected. I am going to be having more frequent appointments (weekly) leading up to the due date.

I have put on 1.5 kilos despite being sick all week. I have not had the flu in over 2 years and this I believe has been due to the healthy way of life that I lead. Good food and plenty of exercise but at my last check up I was told to eat more meat, so I did. I ate meat for lunch and dinner and by the end of the week I was experiencing abdominal pain and surprise, surprise I got sick. I am not made to eat so much meat and I am paying for it now.

The baby is very active and I can feel it moving higher in my belly. It is growing fast as is my belly. I am beginning to feel pain in my lower back from the weight of my belly and I am becoming less mobile. I don't even want to leave the house anymore because I get so tired and uncomfortable being out and about. I have become so boring. I cannot believe I have less than 6 weeks left, 42 days before I hold my bundle of joy in my arms. I cannot fit into my normal clothes any more and I have given up trying, time to make use of the maternity clothes I have.

One thing that I am ever so grateful for is how amazing my husband has been through my pregnancy. He gives me so much love and makes me feel good, despite feeling fat and ugly. He is so attentive to my cravings and gets me anything I want. For example if I am craving açaí and I don't get it, he is worried the baby may end up looking like an açaí. I love my husband more and more everyday and so glad he is in my life. I can see his excitement growing as the due date is approaching and I know he will make an amazing father.

It still has not set in that I will be a mother very soon, I know I have no idea what I have got myself into. I promised my baby to be he best mother I can be and lets see how things play out.

32 weeks check up

I had my 32 week check up with doctor Holland yesterday and all is very well with baby and I. The baby is 44 cm long and weighs 1.7 kg, with only 8 weeks to go. I myself have only put on 3 kg up till now and I am under strict instructions from Dr Holland to eat pizza's, hamburgers and lots of meat. He wants to fatten baby and I up a little.

I cannot stop farting but I am assured that this is normal, my body is so busy helping the baby grow so the digestive system is neglected and slows down. Oh don't even start me on the acid/heartburn I have been getting, I have had many hours awake at night trying to wait it off. I do not wish this on my worst enemy.

Dr Holland is an awesome Dr, I feel really comfortable with him and he is studying english delivery words so he can communicate with me throughout the birth. It is so good having the doctor do everything from checkups to the ultra sounds all in one consultation. The doctors in Australia had me running around back and forth between clinics and hospitals and between doctors, nurses and ultra sound technician and you could never get a straight answer from any of them.

I have been told by many people I meet that they think I am having a baby boy because I am all belly (apparently girls are carried more on the hips) so there is a good chance that the baby will be a Benjamin. If everyone is wrong then it's Jasmin. There are childbirth/parenting classes starting in the next weeks which will be very interesting, all in Portuguese so I need to get cracking on my studying.

I cannot believe that I have been here in Brazil for 4 months now. The weather is getting hotter here in Rondonopolis as the dry season is fast approaching and it does not rain as often so I am spending the majority of my days getting in and out of the pool to cool down. I told Andre "if it wasn't for your swimming pool I would have moved back to Melbourne yonks ago".

Andre is working hard as "Arts Director" for a plantation company, he starts at 7 am and finishes at 6 pm with a 2 hour break for lunch. I get to see him for lunch everyday. We brought a second hand 2003 fiat car named "Lulu" to get us around. She is a royal blue beauty. I have transportation to the hospital once I go into labor, yeah.

Finally an english movie

I cannot believe I will be 30 weeks pregnant this week, only 10 weeks to go (give or take). It takes so long to make a baby, I am looking forward to the day when I get to hold the baby in my arms. The baby is very active at the moment and over the past week I have been able to feel the baby hiccup. The baby's head has gone down ready for a natural birth and at the last check up with Dr. Holland on the 18th January the baby was 38 cm long and weighed 1.357 kg. I have entered my last trimester and all that is left to do now prepare the lungs for air and fatten up the baby before it comes out.

It is unreal the love that I feel for this little girl/boy already, and I have not even met it face to face. I have been on my own for so long now, only recently married thinking for 2 but that is not so hard as we are both adults and quite independent but now a little who will be completely dependent on Andre and I. It's hard to imagine what life will be like when the baby comes along. Many questions run through my head; will I be a good mother? will I ever get any sleep? I guess only time will tell.

I try to be good and do exercise most days, since Andre started working we have not been for a walk in a long time and I miss it. I do my squats in the swimming pool, there is nothing better than a swim in the pool to revive me and make me feel alive. I am at my most happiest in the water, must be because I am a pisces and I think better in the water too. I need water around me so if it is not a pool than I need the ocean near me always.

I have been here in Rondonopolis for almost 3 months, my time here has gone fast. Andre and I have brought a house on a closed estate, the house is nothing special but it is ours. I have been longing for a home for some time. The 2 bedroom house is the perfect size and it will be fun decorating the house with colour. I know my husband will hate it but bad luck, I cannot live without colour, colour is so exciting and has so much energy. One thing about the estate that has won me over is the common pool and playground, the baby and I will be using these everyday.

A big enough backyard for a couple of raised vegetable patch's, I cannot wait to grow my own tomatoes, basil, parsley, beetroots, strawberries, garlic, spring onions, chilies and maybe even a lemon tree. I look forward to my very own kitchen so I can cook up a storm, I have so many new recipes I want to try. Have a look at me, the house will not even be ready for another year let alone if we live in it at all and I'm going crazy over this house. I can dream, it's what keeps me going.

For now it's living with my inlaw's, well Andre and I have upgraded and moved into the main house as the bungalow was much to small for 3. I like my new room, it has the most beautiful view of Rondonopolis. Most days at about 5:30 pm I sit in my new sugar cane chair (a gift form Andre) and watch the world go by while I wait for my husband to come home form work. It is so peaceful and relaxing.

Andre has been painting the exterior of his mum's school and it looks fantastic, I am so proud of him. The baby and I have our fingers crossed for the job where he is going through the interview process, a graphic designer for a large company. It is exactly what he has studied in Australia and will give him a chance to use his talent and creativity. He has had 2 interviews already and one more to go.

I finally got to go to the cinema tonight, there have not been any english movies for a month and a half now. Gra, Andre and I watched "Couples Retreat", very humorous. We ate out before the movie and tonight I had the chicken fillet with bacon burger from the "Pantenal Grill" oh it was so good, I devoured it in no time at all. Avatar was the last movie Andre and I watched and it had to be the most thrilling and exciting movie I have ever seen. We watch Avatar in Cuiaba before Christmas when we visited Andrea, Paul and the kids, what an amazing cinema. All I can say is keep the english movies coming Rondon Plazs.

My dentist check up

Yesterday morning I had to wake up early, something both the baby and I do not enjoy doing. The baby makes it known by making me feel nauseous but I got up and ate some cereal and granola and Andre and I went to work with Messias. Messias is a Dentist and works at a local public dental surgary where I was going to be a patient today. A colleague of Messias was going to do my check up however I had to wait my turn, 2 patients ahead of me. I usually don't mind waiting for anything but when it comes to doctors and dentists I hate it. The longer I wait the more nervous I grow, the sounds of dental drills buzzing in the back ground uneasing me even more.

I had not seen a dentist in almost 4 years so I was a little concerned at the state of my teeth but I do my best to look after my pearly whites. Finally my turn came so in I went with my personal translator (my husband) and I sat down in the chair. After a thorough inspection most of my teeth were fine, need a few fillings however they would have to wait until after the baby is born. I had one tooth in the top left side which was not fine. The outside of the tooth looked fine but looks can be deceiving I had a crater the size of Wolfe Creek. The entire inside had rotted down to the nerves. This was very serious and the horrored looks from Messias and Andre were not helping.

This tooth needed work immediantly but because I am pregnant they can only clean the tooth and fill it, once the baby is born I will require a root canal. I was given a special local anesthesia made for the pregnant and with blood pressure problems. Needles noooooooo, I closed my eyes and felt the needle enter my back gum. It felt like it went all the way up into my brain it was so long. The anesthesia was released from the needle and dispursed into my muscels, the dentist then slowly removed the needle. I could feel my mouth numbing as soon as the needle was out.

The dentist was preparing the drill for the clean and as he brought it into my eyes sight I could feel my body tense and started to perspire under my arms from nervousness. He mumbled a few words to my translator and Andre said "if you feel any pain slap the dentist in the face" this was no time for humor and followed by "no just raise your hand". The dentist went in and the drill started hissing and buzzing, my breathing irregular, the sound piercing my ears and sending chills down my spine. My body was fully erect and I would not dare move.

I felt some discomfort as he was drilling but I dare not say a word for I do not want any additional needles nor to prolong the drilling. What felt like an eternity of drilling before it finally came to an end and the drill was placed on the tray table. Only then did my body ease, relax, my ears rejoiced at the sound of nothing and my breathing returned to normal. The clean was over now the filling, I could handle this bit not a problem. I was surprised how much filling was required to fill in my Wolfe Creek crater, it just kept coming and coming.

The dentist said "bom" and I knew it was all over so I slowly got up and I was feeling a little dizzy. We went home and I snoozed off the anesthesia, my mouth was a little numb at lunch. To my surprise I could finally eat on the left side of my mouth. There was not sharp pains, nothing, this tooth was the problem all along. It was not the baby's fault as I thought from the start. It was a very rotton tooth. You don't know how happy I am to be able to eat on both sides of my mouth after chewing only on the right for 4 months.

Now I have the nightmare of my root canal to look forward to.

Christmas and New Years

This year is the first time I have spent Christmas and New Years with my husband so I was very excited. In Brazil Christmas is celebrated the night before on Christmas Eve. A late dinner starting at 10:30 pm with all the family and a table full of food. We gather around the table standing, holding hands as a prayer is said by Messias. He says a special prayer for my unborn baby then on to the usual Christmas prayer and everyone joins in. We all tuck in to some amazing food like turkey, farofa with figs and potatoes, salads, rice, palm white sauce, stroganoff and of course Gaurana. The food is delicious and full of flavour so I eat slowly and savor every bit I take. Dessert was pineapple and cocoanut pudding, so light and creamy I had to have seconds.

Fireworks are not illegal in Brazil and all night long you could hear the cracking going off near and far. After dinner I was on skype to my family till 3 am, I talked to Grandma, Daniel, Steven, Helen, Veronica and mum. They all had a lot to say except Veronica which was unusual, she always chewed my ear off in the past but now Helen was the one to do so. I think Veronica is camera shy, prefers to talk to people in the flesh. Christmas day was spent eating left over food and lazing around the house and we all did that with great style.

Between Christmas and New Years was Jerusa's surprise birthday party, she got the surprise of her life alright. Many of her friends come to help set up the backyard and her boyfriend Diego brought her home, she was so embarrassed as she has said all along that she did not want a party but Iracema could not help herself. I experienced my first proper Brazilian BBQ and it was delicious. Meat and sausages cooked over hot coals served with steamed mandioca and vinagerete salad (tomato, onion and green olives diced mixed with red wine vinegar and olive oil). Andre served up a dish for us to share and I ate it all on my own, it was to good to share. The birthday cake was very impressive, chocolate sponge topped with big swirls of chocolate and a sweet cocoanut filling. It taste like a bounty chocolate from back home, mmmmmmm bounty cake.

I met Andre's God Father Matias, a very tall, friendly man with a deep voice. Andre joked around with him saying that he came to Jerusa's birthday party and Andre did not even get a call from him on his birthday the week before. I also met his wife and very tall son to, Neia, Matias's wife use to be Miss Rondonopolis in her younger days, although a larger lady now she has so much life in her, she is lovely. Jerusa had a skirt on hold in a shop which she went to pick up earlier in the day, it was not there and she was very upset it was sold on her. As it turns out Diego had purchased it earlier to give to her as a surprise. Jerusa had to go back to the shop the following day to appologise to the shop assistant for being so rude. It turned out to be a good night.

New Years Eve was spent at the local country club with the Peixoto family, a great buffet and live music. Iracema curled my hair for the occassion and Jerusa did my make up. The entrence to the country club was impressive with fruit and flowers everywhere, I felt like I was in Eden. The funtion was held in a large room and white was the colour of the night, in Brazil most people wear white to bring in the new year. The band was pretty good but the speakers were much to load to enjoy the music properly. The food did not dissapoint, I could have easily gone for seconds but I wanted to enjoy the night and not nurse a sore belly.

Just before middnight Andre and I went out onto the belcony to watch the fire works, it was beautiful but I think the pirotechicians had some trouble with fire works going off on the ground, all the piros dipursed running for their lives at one point. It was quite amusing to watch. I shared new years with my husband and my unborn baby, our whole family was there, what more could I want, a shower of fireworks. Andre and I danced later in the evening, it was lovely as I have not danced with him in two years. As we left for the night we all grabbed handfulls of fruits including a whole watermelon. A good night was had by all.